So, as you may have realized, I periodically write about topics that hit close to home. This was especially true while I was pregnant and trying to live the advice that I often give to patients (Teaser: Do as I say, not as I do.). As a mom to a now 1-year-old, the topic of self-care has been on my mind quite a bit recently. I remember when my daughter was 6 months old, going to the dentist. As I tried to come up with a reason why they hadn’t seen me in almost a year, the best I could do was to honestly say, “Really, I haven’t done much of anything to take care of myself since my daughter was born.” And guess what? It was totally true. I was having a hard time getting back to exercise. I wasn’t sleeping all that well (I mean, who sleeps well with a new baby? If it’s you, don’t tell me.) And, I had skipped many of the typical self-care things that I normally enjoy doing regularly.
My experience unfortunately is not that unique to many new moms (and old moms, and lots of other people too!). In discussing this with my friends and patients, I often find that people live very busy lives and struggle with prioritizing themselves amidst an often hectic schedule. By the time we wake up, make lunches, get everyone out the door, work a busy job, cook dinner, tidy up the house, prepare for the next day, etc… there really doesn’t seem to be time left. The idea of adding in an hour for exercise, meal-prepping or seeing a doctor/dentist/physical therapist can feel impossible.
But, the truth comes down to two key points:
- We have time when we make time.
- When we care for ourselves, we actually care better for others.
Did you know that stress can worsen chronic pain? And that stress is connected to all sorts of illnesses (like heart disease, among others?) Did you know that exercise has all sorts of amazing benefits? (see the awesome whiteboard video below)
In short, when we care for ourselves through exercise, quiet time/meditation, quality time with friends/family, or necessary medical/dental/physical therapy visits, we actually equip our bodies with the tools we need to better handle the stress that comes our way and ultimately, to better care for the important people in our lives.
So, how do you make time for self-care?
- Set a realistic expectation: If you do not currently exercise at all, don’t start with a goal of exercising every day. You will probably fail. Instead, make a goal at exercising 2-3 times in the week. If you know that your mornings are completely hectic and busy, that may not be your best time for quiet time/meditation. Instead, perhaps in the evenings as you are wrapping up your day may be a better time.
- Be specific on your when, what and how: When I was in PT school, we learned that goals should be objective, measurable and achievable. This not only sets our patients up for success, but lets us evaluate if our intervention is working. So, if your goal is to exercise, try being specific on your when, why and how. For example, I could aim to run 30 minutes on Tuesday and Thursday evenings after work. The more specific and scheduled, the more likely you will be to achieve success.
- Get help when you need it: If it is challenging to hold yourself accountable, talk to a friend or a partner to get some help. Verbally expressing your goals and detailed plan to another person can often help provide the necessary support and accountability for success. If you know you need more tangible help to be successful, make sure to ask for it. This may mean something like planning ahead with your partner to manage childcare responsibilities or it could mean finding a friend who will actually go and exercise with you.
What other strategies do you have for self-care? How have you been successful in the past?
As always, I would love to hear from you!